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About Deviant CynEli SelNar G.C.Female/Philippines Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Literature
112717 Dlbrtn
Its been a long time coming
Im sure life was a blast
But theres too many demons now
Too many shadows from the past
Reaching,  breaching, creeping for me
Crawling,  clawing,  falling out to me
I swear its time to come undone
When the message from the vessel says that all your time is up
Im impressed. Im depressed. I wamt to suck it up amd own it
But how can i when all i do in life is just blow it
I can never see straight
Im easily distracted
Nevermore im forevermore relieving you of this girl tragic
What can i say its easy peasy to see the break of day
As a release from sabotage internal and when i make my way
To the land of peace and poverty of life of distant droning
An animosity between life and death yearning
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 0 0
deadtired by kayateya deadtired :iconkayateya:kayateya 2 0
Literature
A.
Attention, all citizens! Your leader is here
No more will you tread in poor paths,
nor Dwell in the stink of the rear
Rest well, you soldier, and do so completely
Even heroes need to sleep soundly
So, do so, and pat your own back
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 1 0
Literature
L.
A. Love eludes him from his own self
And never seems to give a care
Nevertheless, he does no belong on a shelf
Cobwebs or dust in air
Ergo, no more his loveless life will be
    with a group of friends as we
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 0 0
Literature
J.
Joy is something that will come to you
Hold on to life until then
As nothing is as rewarding as feeling true
Place all your poison on the train to Then
Repeat until you're back to breathing
In spire of the painful life of hurting
Let us comfort you as you breathe in
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 0 0
Literature
H.
Hey, my smol nerdy bean
Are you caring for yourself?
Need to sleep? One me you could lean
No hindrance will you ever be
And remember, my small precious bean
Human you are like all of us here
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 0 0
Literature
X.
eXistential, exemplary, extraordinary and dear
Your name is always sweet music to my ears
Never doubt yourself, my lovely
Never forget! Someone loves you wholly.
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 1 0
Literature
G.
Galleries of olden faded cheers
Washed out in cobwens of old
Youth greyed out as people can be
No safer place to go
End here the false facades of fear
To rest and live to grow
How dare you think this is no place
for a soul to sparkle clear?
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 1 0
Literature
Life and Death
Here, an adventure
Chasing you to dream again
Just open your eyes
There, a catharsis
Waiting upon your release
When you reach the sky
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 1 0
Literature
080817
IM just tired of peope
being tired of me
i told you im awful
i told you surely
it's hard to see through the day
im living in a nightmare
it leaves me feeling empty
it leaves me feeling cold
im linving in a nightmare and i know you are too
im just ehre pretending face to keep the worset away from you
for one more inght
pray for me
therse too much to see todayi
i have to fight the urge to drift away
i swear its hopeless
i lost myself before
but not as  
my errors my failures
tey only et worse
you carers you lovers
you apathetic liars
i have o shut them out
protect the =m while i can
from all my worries and doubt
i hope they understand why i ran
its such a crime to be sad
is being sad such a bad crime
if so ill be behind bars for a lifetime
there rare horns on m shadows
black
purple green lue orange blurs smudgges
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 1 0
Literature
73017
I dont trust my legs to keep me steady
Or my arms to keep me still
I dont trust my heart to be ready
For the forces of fate's will
So please, for the greedy
Go take a part from me
But it's all worth but a penny
In the grand scheme a'medley
Feel free to take a part from me
For it's all ready to be free
It's all parted apart in convenient parts
To frankenstein-fix your broken hearts
Anywhere, anywho, anyhow but here
Anywhere, anywho, anyhow but here
Anywhere, anywho, anyhow but here
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 0 0
Literature
Inevidei
When the Players leave to lay and let stay
The wallow's stain
There's a small gain
To change
The way the game
Inflicts pain
Hiding the rare grain
From the poor gaze
Asking
Blood or rain
To wash away
The wallow's stain
Unless its there to stay
And waste away The
Fabric 'neath the pave'
Until its binding truths
Give way to break away
From each other
From that point to another
And from now to whenever its all how to however
Until it's
At the world's end
When we're all dead and the toolsheds
Goes to shed all it's human shreds in drops of
Red
And dead ends
Loop together when nature ties loose ends
It's the same end
And we all bled
In the same shades of
Red
Lead the same end
Taste the same end
In the same shades of red
When Fate and Life wed
And the banquet gets ready with the warm bread
Or toast bread
Thats what the Planner said
'Bout when Fate and Life wed
Though the wallow stain
Is here to stay
Despite all the warnings and heedway
We lost way
Long before the end of the day
It's in our DNA
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 1 0
Literature
life and onions
my mind is a furnace never meant to thaw
my eyesf rom its heat have ddried themselves out
my life is a fiction, one everyone saw
but never could believe in no matter how raw
too many contradictions, too much to say
yet so little come out until i threten to sway
the plot is too hazy and the character too dumb
it seems her angels got lazy and maybe God got numb
giving away onions expecting people to peel
and seeing them instead dice away along to what they feel
alas, it's my fault. i shouldve been more clear
that the layers inside were things i fear
id hand out chunks, vague but precise
onions picked apart from the rotten palette pack
and then handed out raw yet incomplete as can be
from the batch that was supposedly sold as a whole
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 0 0
Literature
.
whats the truth? who do i trust?
i know its been a while but im starting to rust
maybe i already passed the point of corrosion
with all the abrasion from these raw emotions
the black is back, you see
unearthed from my digital sanctuary
they jumped out of the bytes of their confines
and circle around me as the prey to dine
they are too many thats quite sure
my feelings locked in each beast in a blur
they thrive from my sorrow and live from my blues
they grow black and toxic and haunt me true
i am plagued once evermore
maybe seven hundred times more
than ive ever been before
and what a joy! theres more
what should i feel? what should i wear?
what should i don to mask the spiderweb tear?
i am quite confused, perplexed to what i am
everything was wrong yet...could i feel a damn?
i actually dont want to. but...i have to?
cant i just let them go? flick off the bullet that went through?
whats happening, really? the story is thick inside the muck of hatred
i dont trust you and never accepted y
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 0 0
Literature
universetime lifefear
the universe loves circles
rings and loops
circlets, hoops
halos annuli and discoes
twice the "C" or one whole "O"
A graph of the three-point-one-four-fold
the universe loves circles
infinites and backtrails
it loves looking forward to look behind
it loves looking behind to look ahead
it loves spinning around
spiralling and twirling
dancing and swirling
swinging and slinging and hurling
in giant sweeps and bends and curves and angles
time loves marching on
since it cannot look back
it thrives forward and only so
in a world where forward is anywhere you could go
with its one-track mind it ceases to think
mindlessly lurches into the brink
it finds comfort in linearness
in the the simple life it lives to harness
life loves destruction, the ironic beast it is
as it thrives and glows, shimmers and explodes
into systems of atoms that look for abodes
it lives to unlive, thrives to die
it goes with time only to implode inside
it eats away forward and goes back to backward
it twirls and marches
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 0 0
Literature
sandpaper
Sandpaper waves reach my ear
and pull all my shadows near
And the waves now they burn
and they tore the scabs I earned
Now my eardrums bleed with my heart with my brain–can I restart?
No I cant fix,
there are no tricks
to relight stumpy wicks
that have died
that have burned out and defied
So the sandpaper waves reach my ears
pierce my drums
screech into the worlds kingdoms
That i fail
That i stutter that i cant hold my end up
And I look up
To the sky where all the stars barely collide
For their light
Just like hope
Is so far apart so mope
For this
Family
To be free
From all of earthly hexes
For it wasnt
Just that trip
That was causing all the vexes
And so oh i implore
Have i felt like this before
When this life has shook the core
And fearing this paramore
Can i at least be free to bore
All my sins into the floor
So at least
When wolves feast
Ill be out there to explore
seeing all lies evermore
While the people reaching miles are defiled by all thats been in file
In the sil-o of a
:iconkayateya:kayateya
:iconkayateya:kayateya 1 0

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Literature
Subtle Confessions
I stare at a strip of burning paper
and my heart aches
Like a snowflake
I want to sink into your skin
I want to be the rain
outside your window
And somewhere the sun
melts into the horizon once again
Pastel paint dissolves in turpentine
A candle's flame submits to the wind
And-
Can you hear my whisper in these lines?
I want to disappear
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Literature
Agony
The clock is
noisily ticking by
-it's been hours
since you last replied,
but I keep checking my phone,
just in case-
the shadows thicken,
darkness blooms
around me
like a graveyard garden,
and my eyes
keep shooting around,
ears
hungrily waiting
for a sign of your text-
but the silence laughs
mockingly and harsh
as I slowly
fall asleep-
phone still
tightly held in my grasp.
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Literature
Silence
As I suffocate in this empty noise
Awaiting for words to follow your hesitation
I come to realise that for once,
Your silence has spoken louder than words.
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Literature
Silence
They say speaking is silver and silence is gold,
In some cases it might be true.
But there is also a truth that goes untold,
Even if it might be quite blue.
Silence is sometimes bad,
Not always so don't get upset.
Some things that are evil can make us go mad,
Some things that are even a threat.
Even if your enemies will make your blood boil,
The silence of your friends will be what hurts you more.
Words might hurt us, but silence can torment us.
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:iconkoratoshisfriend:Koratoshisfriend 67 57
Literature
.: SILENCE :.
I never liked silence.
It's why I leave on my TV while I sleep
Or blast music when I'm home alone.
I'll even sing a tune myself,
If it keeps out the silence.
So why is it so surprising, then,
That I've grown so overly frustrated
With your unresponsive critical hit?
I can only do so much myself---
I've reached out,
Cranked up the volume,
I've shouted and sang and cried and screamed!
But you let the silence creep in,
And now there's just... n o t h i n g.
I hate your silence.
:iconSinfulFox:SinfulFox
:iconsinfulfox:SinfulFox 638 153
Literature
Silence
I am the wind raging on the sun-scorched desert
which sweeps the sand and suffocated those who can not find the way
I'm a sand storm, which destroys the lives
Then silence, total stagnation
I'm the blood that flows from your open body
Rub your dead skin with red spots
I feel your cold and your slipping being
Then silence, total stagnation
I am a wolf howling in the wilderness
who recently lost his entire herd
Until the day will pass finds him shot by fools
Then silence, total stagnation
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:iconramsay-bolton:Ramsay-Bolton 127 36
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Activity


Its been a long time coming
Im sure life was a blast
But theres too many demons now
Too many shadows from the past
Reaching,  breaching, creeping for me
Crawling,  clawing,  falling out to me
I swear its time to come undone
When the message from the vessel says that all your time is up

Im impressed. Im depressed. I wamt to suck it up amd own it
But how can i when all i do in life is just blow it
I can never see straight
Im easily distracted
Nevermore im forevermore relieving you of this girl tragic

What can i say its easy peasy to see the break of day
As a release from sabotage internal and when i make my way
To the land of peace and poverty of life of distant droning
An animosity between life and death yearning
Fuck hoping. I'll fuck off for everyone.
ako? normal lang. sanay na akong wala ka e. siyempre aaralin ko pagluluto. makakatikim ako ng ginhawa, malaya sa kababawan

deviantID

kayateya's Profile Picture
kayateya
CynEli SelNar G.C.
Philippines
I'm just another Cynical Elision.

Not much to say.

Music is my lifeblood and I listen to almost everything (except most of modern pop music.) Especially Orchestral, Post-Rock (and its derivatives), Rock and Metal (with almost all of their subgenres.), some older EDM, etc.

I write, but I am not talented enough to make it worth reading.
Maybe one day.



I am used to be my own Solace.
Yes, I am boring.

Kbai
Interests
I htought last year wa sbad. 
two more. two more people in my life despawning within this week
then the news. the world news, the local news/
then the disagreements the air the silence
the environment the weather the arguments the abuse
and now the coping the hiding and al the distracting just to get away
because i wanted to keep my word that i wont fall as low as before again
but maybe 
despite al lthe trying
despite finally fighting
i did
still did
and this time its more my fault than it ever was

but im alive
i twill be fine right?

im running out of ropse.

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:iconyanka-arts-n-crafts:
YANKA-arts-n-crafts Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2017  Professional Artisan Crafter
:icondawatchplz: :iconthanks4favplz:
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:iconpajunen:
Pajunen Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2017
Thanks for the fav!
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:iconjoltinjohnnylucas:
joltinjohnnylucas Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2017
thanks for the favoritism
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:iconcagnaccio87:
Cagnaccio87 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Hey there! I was jus passing by 'cause I really wanted to thank you for taking your time to pass through my profile page and for the :+fav: ! :la: I really appreciate it and I hope you will enjoy my future works as well! :dummy:

See you around and have a great day! :meow:

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:iconmarkturtoo:
MarkTurtoo Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2017  Professional Photographer
Thank you for adding me to your watch, I hope to deliver more of what you liked in my future creations. :bow:
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:iconnickalive:
nickalive Featured By Owner May 25, 2017  Professional General Artist
grato pelo fav
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spritemight Featured By Owner May 15, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thank you for the watch! :hug:
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inky-black-honesty Featured By Owner May 9, 2017   Writer
Thank you for the favorite :blackflame:
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GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner May 1, 2017
Thanks for the watch. Have a 3D Llama Badge 
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Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2017  Student Writer
Thanks for the faves!
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